"A Loose Quarter"
Here we are, all alone
Who gives a fuck about what they say
I'm sure I've heard much worse
People need to worry about them first
People need to learn to mind their business instead of mine
Here we are, all alone
Who gives a fuck about their dismay
But still I'm face to face
With the one person I can't replace
One person I can't just tell I'm doing fine
What up Ma
Been a while
Lot of catching up to do
Know you got a ear full
Momma said she loves me, said she cares
Said if I need her, she'll always be there
But even her saying that struck me as weird
Why did she feel those words I needed to hear?
Said she understands me, that was rare
Cause no one understands me, not even my peers
And these just thoughts I never bother to share
So as I write, my eyes start to tear
I ain't tell her I'm tired, but still trooping
Alone, but I find myself regrouping
Ain't say my brain now feel like a prison
Figured I'd shut the fuck up and listen
She continued, that was honorable
Said said I get more and more irresponsible
For normal folks, she said that's a challenge
Luckily I mask mine behind talent
She said "you are no longer yourself"
"I don't know what to expect of you"
Said I'm putting up with things I normally wouldn't
She don't know why it's acceptable
She said "people living in your house"
"Don't pay shit, not respectable"
I told her, they're folk I think highly of
She said "well they must think less of you"
"Must feel entitled, all you doing"
I said I'll fix it, she said no you won't
Then I got defensive, but still replied
I told her I need them, she said "no you don't"
Then she said, "when's the last time you spoke to your father?"
I said he's self-centered, why bother?
Cause he only really call about his needs
And I ain't got enough time to deal with his greed
Cause my days are darker
Cut from a long shank but the blade is sharper
I'm making my not-so-vague departure
Tell pop I'm his son, not his spades partner
Last time that we spoke
He wanted to use the crib, throw a party here
Which wasn't partly fair
My home need to feel like home
Even if I throw a party here
Then he catch an attitude
And I catch one right back at you
We adore each other, but ignore each other
Think this is how the fuck I wanna act with you?
Things just ain't the same
But he sure will call about a Yankee game
Like call C.C. and get back to me
What's ill is he say it so casually
I love him so much he can have all the perks
Hurts so much, I take all the Percs
Hurts so much but fuck it, it works
Hurts so much that I can't sleep
Mom say I need to sleep more
Then again, she ain't on this stress level
So many people rely on me
I'm trying to get us all to the next level
Wait, told her I took baby girl to the doctor
It was only for a check up though
And she gave me the face like
"Now would be time if there's anything I feel I need to let her know"
But, that's just mom again, just being a mom again
Looked down at the tat on my arm again
God please give me the strength, keep calm again
She asked me if Kaylin was pregnant
I looked at her like she was crazy
Cause that's my baby, what's wrong with a baby?
She said "nothing at all when you're not dating a baby"
"Beautiful girl, I like everything about her thus far"
"I just don't wanna see you fall"
"Just a tad bit young, so she got some growing up to do"
And I replied don't we all
Momma said "why can't you ever be alone"
I said what do you mean?
Went to correct her, she did it herself
She said "at least that's how it seems"
Pop ain't called, he's still mad
Still pissed, he's still angry
I'm still going, no plan of slowing
No way I'll ever let his immaturity taint me
Momma said that Tahiry called
That ain't shock me, they speak a lot