Interested in Cryptocurrency?
Visit best CoinMarketCap alternative. Real time updates, cryptocurrency price prediction...

Kinky Friedman lyrics - Sold American

We Reserve The Right To Refuse Service To You

Original and similar lyrics
(Kinky Friedman, Rick Goldberg, J. Maizel) While traveling through the Lone Star State I lost my lunch before I ate, It happened in a pull-ahead cafà . Yahoo! I felt my bones begin to crunch I saw my name on the businessman's lunch And the neck who owned the place stepped up to say: “Hey buddy, are you blind, Say, partner, can't you read the sign ?” We reserve the right to refuse service to you, Take your business back to Walgreen's, Have you tried your local zoo ? You smell just like a communist, You come on through just like a Jew, We reserve the right to refuse service to you. Well, I walked on in to my House of God Congregation on the nod, Just chosen folks are doing their weekly thing. Hear, O Israel, yes indeed, My book was backwards, couldn't read, But I got a good rise when I heard that Rabbi sing, “Boruch atoh Adonoi, What the hell are you doing back there, boy ?” We reserve the right to refuse services to you, Your friends are all on welfare â€' You call yourself a Jew ? You need your ticket and your tie To zip your prayers on through, We reserve the right to refuse services unto you. Life from Laos and Cambodia No more tears tonight they showed ya The latest old war movies on TV. You know it's bound to escalate So go and turn on channel eight, Watch channel seven border channel three. Well, I won't mind your tanks and jets and jeeps And speaking on behalf of all my fellow creeps: We reserve the right to refuse service to you, Right, face, forward, move And get the children, too. Let Saigons be bygones, Don't you blow this world in two. We reserve the right to refuse service to you. Well, it's just my luck that God's a Texan One big sonbitchin' Anglo-Saxon, Some crazy tall Norwegian bore Just to help my body shipped air-freight From Texas to the Pearly Gate Just ring the bell and leave me at the door. I'll be somewhere over Jordan swinging low, I'll hear them tape-recorded angels in lifelike stereo Singing, “We reserve the right to refuse service to you, Take your business back to Walgreen's, Have you tried your local zoo ? Our quota's filled for this year On singing Texas Jews, We reserve the right to refuse service to you.”

Careers Service

John Wesley Harding "It Happened One Night"
It is a 24 hour operation with a skeleton staff The profits almost double when they cut the work force in half The boss votes the way the money goes, and the flags fly at half-mast He believes in the lie that is free enterprise and it just makes me laugh And it makes me nervous Careers service It makes me nervous You can't walk down the street now the corner-shop's been closed Who needs nostalgia when it belts you in the nose Big men put me out of business, made me sell budget garden hose Left you drunk on overpriced scotch, wearing a plastic rose And it makes me nervous Careers service It makes me nervous The boys in the queue The girls in the queue The men and the women all shouting at you Whatever happened to careerÌs information Whatever happened to the pride of this nation No-oneÌs giving us good vibrations Excitations You've got your best suit on for the interview Meeting people you shouldnÌt have to meet, doing things you don't want to do Behind the desk, it's all sex on a casting couch, surely will bite you You don't even get the understudy amidst all this hullabaloo And it makes me nervous Careers service Well it's so worthless Careers service Well it's so worthless

Farewell Summer

JOELL ORTIZ "Farewell Summer"
[Joell Ortiz] Yaowa! Lot been goin on these past three months If you don't mind, I'd like to share it with you Let's see, summer of oh-ten Well right before it kicked off I lost a really close friend Last time we kicked it was at a show in Coney Island Fucked with some bitches, I swear I miss my homie whylin That was bad enough news, like I needed to hear more Mr. Marshall Mathers is interested in us four "Us four" being Crooked I, Joe Budden Royce and myself, but I swear it's always somethin When the talks got real, E-1 started frontin Tryin to cockblock but we handled that, it's nothin Listen close, hear it from the horse's mouth, it's crazy The deal ain't finalized but yeah, Slaughterhouse and Shady Shows been gettin better, Highline was retarded When Fat Joe came out New York City went bonkers Styles P came out and put it down for all of Yonkers Even Sean Paul ripped it after twistin up the ganja Closed the show with Jim Jones, you know "Nissan, Honda, Chevy" had the fans Andretti, that's a monster Wish I coulda spit that on the stage at Summer Jam Can't complain though, that verse helped me scoop a couple grand Aside from the music, yeah, copped a new apartment Two bedroom joint, nothin fancy, lil' carpet Marble in the kitchen, cool walk-in closet A paintin here and there, somethin simple for an artist If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son Well then feel sorry for me cause I had more than one Like E-1 and Slaughterhouse single, I lost +The One+ Before the us and Pharoahe Monch Canada tour was done I argue with her like, "Bein insecure is dumb The only thing that I could get from all these whores is cum" We did the Skype thing in my bunk on late nights Always started cool but ended in the same fight Why I ain't pickin up the phone once again It only takes a second to reply to BBM Baby I don't know what to say Maybe it was the 20-hour drive from Montréal to Thunder Bay Maybe my phone died, maybe I'm sound checkin Maybe I'm on stage goin in for the crowd sweatin Either way it's over, you failed to understand You was dealin with a star, not your average brother man On another note, I got to kick it with my sons Up in Dave & Buster's winnin tickets, it was fun Did Rockaway Beach, played some frisbee in the sun At summer camp they had a Track and Field Olympics and they won I took it down to Miami on the 4th Wobbled out a mansion and did cameo of course Shit I brought to the telly looked like panties on a horse Freak brain, this bitch said "Nigga, ram me 'til I cough!" I gotta call the bitch but yeah, Flex see that I'm focused Droppin bombs like I did to get rid of the roaches Feels good bein Puerto Rican from the pro-jects And countries overseas havin a ball like my cojones This summer I did well settin up for oh-eleven Comin up on a year my granny said hello to Heaven My moms still goin through it, e'ry now and then she cries I'm tryin to bring a different set of tears into her eyes "Free Agent" is FIRE! The world gon' see it's tough I'ma drop the "Yaowa" mixtape with Green to heat it up Shout to ICU, the documentary is nuts Some people on there gone, a lot of memories, but yup Gotta keep it pushin though the ride gets bumpy I'ma keep whippin until I get money Hate to be so blunt, but I came up extra poor Borrowed from next door, couldn't get ketchup from the store The butt of all the jokes cause of the rejects that I wore Matching perfectly with all the V-necks that I tore But nope, not no more, my feet keep the sickest kicks Still doin V-necks but nowadays my shit is crisp I'm comin for the title boys, hope you niggaz rhyme I'm treatin this like high school, "A" game every time Let you niggaz party, go on vaca', I'ma grind 'Til e'ry verse I kick is like Pele in his prime Y'all don't want a war, be screamin mayday with a nine Your thought caliber's no MATCH for this AK in my mind Don't get clapped, like sex with a dirty slut When I'm done with rap, they gon' hang your boy jersey up Cause I done been an all-star on all bars My dad left, and the apple never falls far So I'm gone like a sports car Anyone who think they better is just +Wild+, Draw Four card I did this by myself, no help brother No more sag, I'm comin for that belt fuckers Said my prayers, and God called Joell's number So stay tuned in the Fall, "Farewell Summer"

O'Malley's Bar

Nick Cave "Murder Ballads"
I am tall and I am thin Of an enviable hight And I've been known to be quite handsome In a certain angle and in certain light Well I entered into O'Malley's Said, 'O'Malley I have a thirst' O'Malley merely smiled at me Said 'You wouldn't be the first' I knocked on the bar and pointed To a bottle on the shelf And as O'Malley poured me out a drink I sniffed and crossed myself My hand decided that the time was nigh And for a moment it slipped from view And when it returned, it fairly burned With confidence anew Well the thunder from my steely fist Made all the glasses jangle When I shot him, I was so handsome It was the light, it was the angle Huh! Hmmmmmm 'Neighbours!' I cried, 'Friends!' I screamed I banged my fist upon the bar 'I bear no grudge against you!' And my dick felt long and hard 'I am the man for which no God waits But for which the whole world yearns I'm marked by darkness and by blood And one thousand powder-burns' Well, you know those fish with the swollen lips That clean the ocean floor When I looked at poor O'Malley's wife That's exactly what I saw I jammed the barrel under her chin And her face looked raw and vicious Her head it landed in the sink With all the dirty dishes Her little daughter Siobhan Pulled beers from dusk till down And amongst the townfolk she was a bit of a joke But she pulled the best beer in town I swooped magnificent upon her As she sat shivering in her grief Like the Madonna painted on the church-house wall In whale's blood and banana leaf Her throat it crumbled in my fist And I spun heroically around To see Caffrey rising from his seat I shot that mother fucker down Mmmmmmmmmm Yeah Yeah Yeah 'I have no free will', I sang As I flew about the murder Mrs. Richard Holmes, she screamed You really should have heard her I sang and I laughed, I howled and I wept I panted like a pup I blew a hole in Mrs. Richard Holmes And her husband stupidly stood up As he screamed, 'You are an evil man' And I paused a while to wonder 'If I have no free will then how can I Be morally culpable, I wonder' I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach And gingerly he sat down And he whispered weirdly, 'No offense' And then lay upon the ground 'None taken', I replied to him To which he gave a little cough With blazing wings I neatly aimed And blew his head completely off I've lived in this town for thirty years And to no-one I am a stranger And I put new bullets in my gun Chamber upon chamber And I turned my gun on the bird-like Mr. Brookes I thought of Saint Francis and his sparrows And as I shot down the youthful Richardson It was St. Sebastian I thought of, and his arrows Hhhhhhhhhh Mmmmmmmmmmmm I said, 'I want to introduce myself And I am glad that all you came' And I leapt upon the bar And shouted out my name Well Jerry Bellows, he hugged his stool Closed his eyes and shrugged and laughed And with an ashtray as big as a fucking really big brick I split his head in half His blood spilled across the bar Like a steaming scarlet brook And I knelt at it's edge on the counter Wiped the tears away and looked Well, the light in there was blinding Full of God and ghosts of truth I smiled at Henry Davenport Who made an attempt to move Well, from the position I was standing The strangest thing I ever saw The bullet entered through the top of his chest And blew his bowels out on the floor Well I floated down the counter Showing no remorse I shot a hole in Kathleen Carpenter Recently divorced But remorse i felt and remorse I had It clung to every thing From the raven's hair upon my head To the feathers on my wings Remorse sqeezed my hand in it's fradulent claw With it's golden hairless chest And I glided through the bodies And killed the fat man Vincent West Who sat quietly in his chair A man become a child And I raised the gun up to his head Executioner-style He made no attempt to resist So fat and dull and lazy 'Did you know I lived in your street' I said And he looked at me as though I were crazy 'O', he said, 'I had no idea' And he grew as quiet as a mouse And the roar of the pistol when it went off Near blew that hat right off the house Hmmmmmm Uh Uh Well, I caught my eye in the mirror And gave it a long and loving inspection 'There stands some kind of man', I roared And there did, in the reflection My hair combed back like a raven's wing My muscles hard and tight And curling from the business end of my gun Was a query-mark of cordite Well I spun to the left, I spun to the right And I spun to the left again 'Fear me! Fear me! Fear me!' But no one did cause they were dead Huh! Hmmmmmmmmm And then there were the police sirens wailing And a bull-horn squelched and blared 'Drop your weapons and come out With your hands held in the air' Well, I checked the chamber of my gun Saw I had one final bullet left My hand, it looked almost human As I raised it to my head 'Drop your weapon and come out! Keep your hands above your head!' I had one one long hard think about dying And did exactly what they said There must have been fifty cops out there In a circle around O'Malley's bar 'Don't shoot', I cried, 'I'm a man unarmed!' So they put me in their car And they sped me away from that terrible scene And I glanced out of the window Saw O'Malley's bar, saw the cops and the cars And I started counting on my fingers Aaaaaah One Aaaaaah Two Aaaaaah Three Aaaaaaah Four O'Malley's bar O'Malley's bar

Nothing To Say

HELLOWEEN
When I got told the other day, you said won't it be nice To spend some time and share a look there was no thinking twice The die was cast no time to lose as much as one can say Didn't hesitate to call you back and things were under way And if it wasn't for the circumstance and well against all odds Well that's enough for feeling great the best we could have got And just in case there's something wrong so much with you to share Much better anyways than watch or stroll round everywhere Nothing to say we got it there A long long way right in our hands Nothing to say - now we can use all we give all of our loving and affection We'll have our way like we always do - nothing to say You called me up the other day just when I thought you would And asked if we could break apart as things ain't been too good I swallowed hard and got that feeling I know it's called unease The confidence I've kept to well just came down piece by piece That's all it takes it's sad but done no way to disagree Time takes toll and that's the way it's always gonna be Cos it wasn't yet the circumstance but more than just a test There's little left for feeling great and all I need's some rest [There's] not a single glimpse of hope well someone took my place It's yet another turn for me [I'll be] messin' round everywhere Nothing to say we got it there A long long way right in our hands Nothing to say - so you refuse all I give all of my loving and affection I'll make our way like I always do - nothing to say So you refuse all I give all of my loving and affection, oh, oh So you refuse all I give all of my loving and affection, oh, oh

Klap Your Hands

Das EFX "Dead Serious"
Verse One: Dray Well uhh, ???? is macaroni and cheese Before I start, I gots ta umm fart, no I gots ta uhh sneeze not, I gotcha trippin, yippity-doo-da-day Shucks, I'm makin bucks so umm hip-hip-hooray and then some Cos I'm a powsy wowsy ace boom coon so shout Wa-bap-a-loo-ba-bawa-bam-boom! Drayx up for sure dang, now that I'm flexed My a-EFX'll quote, when the bridge fell down and I'ma good ship with the lollipop Left town so yiggity-yack, you booga-loo black Oki doki, oopsy Daisy, cos I'm Krayzie like that But it's the cat got snuffed, or Mr.Red and his crew so roll a spliff and rub-a-dub and then ya make beef stew Troop, I got the hoolahoop, baby woop, dooby-doo Lassie boy, you made a mess, now go and get the pooper scoop Oops, I wibble-wobble-wobble-wee while I make but hocus-pocus and yippy-yi-yo, yay for Dray and...... Hook: Klap your hands now (x3) Verse Two: Skoob Bon voyage, look out below cos umm I got my socks on, the popcorn, the Hubba Bubba, yep gum Skippity bum, you think I don't know the time Well it's half-past a cow's ass and I'm a real bad ass Yeah, shitty-bang-boom-bang, yo who rang? Abra-cadabra, jimminy crickets, set the wrists to my slang I got the knights all sniffin, sneezing, yes Stuffy-head, called for ???? and fever, sow you to rest Tight rhymes, ???? catch the fever for the flavor of a spliff or a Uzi, be careful who you choose, could choose a Marvin, choose a ship Lickity split, cos flippity-lips can sink ships And yo, a sandwich isn't a snadwich without the miracle whip in the morning, yawning as I stand for group check To back up, I slap up, r-r-rut put you're boo deck Yep, so what the heck, you gives rhymes like a cheque Because the A is for apple, the J is for 'ja back to book bets' and then S-K-double O-Be on *?mansel?* So if ya happy and ya know it, klap your hands Hook (x3) Verse Three: Dray Well uhh, woopty doody, abba doozy, it's time I'm on the yabber dabber, scribber scrabber, shimmy sham flam So, heavens-to-Betsy, golly wolly, gee whiz My lickity split got splat, the diddly squat was hot Oh yeah, dapper doodly do, you don't know Mr. Magoo? You heard I'm loco, well yo, I'm despicable too So umm, hi ho Silver and away we go The Lone Ranger got pissed and shot Tonto in his toes, so holy toledo, cowabunga, what gives I heard you shot my borough til *?blow at twins?* The name farmer's up in me, need no give me no more cos that soul lock ya stands, I can't stands no more So zippity doo, da day, woops I gots stuff See I'm sneaky freaky peaky plus I'm chock full of nuts But yo I am enjoyed for the clamp in his chest So hey, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck? If a woodchuck could chuck, fuck you know the rest So seizin it, seizin it, seizin it I shall Cos it's the Krayzie Drayzie wit the Books, that's my pal and...... Hook (x3) Verse Four: Skoob A diggity-cap, my slipp'ry style is ???? ???? I got the mics, the back pop, crackle and snap and all that, me and a gang of PING PING bang zoomer To freak ya outcha sneakers and knock your granny outta roomers Yo some say I'm Brooklyn bomber, some say Brooklyn boop but don't consider me as no follower, no runner or no poop But just rock, a by, rock, a by booboo Let your fingers do the walkin, hey I'm talkin, yoohoo Can ya, can ya hear me? Checka, checka 1-2 Aiyo, sit Booboo sit, shit cos I'm the one who kick a rhyme in singular, so son, you're used to it Cos Poof the Magic Dragon, I'll kick a rhyme in duplicate or triplicate, can't forget my boogaloo big jaw Umm, listen everyone as I kick the jigsaw M-I-crooked letter, crooked letter, I crooked letter, crooked letter, I hump back hump back, I, you can't touch I cos I's gots dem and dem is bound to make ya...... Hook to fade

Was it funny? Share it with friends!