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JIMMY FALLON lyrics - The Bathroom Wall

Gotta Get A Fake I.D.

Original and similar lyrics
Do you guys have fake IDs? (crowd cheers) Yeah, you gotta have fake ids man... You know, i'm not gonna narc you or anything...i'm not like 21 Jump Street you know C'mon, hey. You told me - in the audience - you said you had a fake id, now talk to this officer. You gotta have a fake id man, its the most fun cool thing that you could ever have in college because you're a totally different person, for one night. I mean, if you chalk it or if you get, like, one that looks nothing like you its more fun. And you can never ask your friends if its cool because they just want to drink, so they'll just tell you its cool like Let me see that, i'll tell you if its cool. Oh yeah, you got a good one, you got a GOOD one, you got a good one. Yeah, this'll work. This is gonna work. Uh huh, yeah, this one's gonna work. Just trust me, wear the turban. Put on the turban, it'll work, trust me. Don't be a pussy, its really good...

We Do What We Can

SHERYL CROW "Tuesday Night Music Club"
Downstairs they're playing Kenton The house set to swing I lay in my bed And listen to everything Cause Leo's in rare form tonight His trombone sings so sweet This is the room Where they all come to meet He said I do what I can I live for the moment And that's who I am Yeah that's who I am And isn't it good If we could freeze moments in time We all would But I do what I can I do what I can Downstairs he's playing Kenton The Magnavox sighs But oh how the music has changed In all of our lives He says 'nobody listens To modern jazz' And I'll never have what those guys have He says I do what I can I work for a living And that's who I am Yeah that's who I am And it's good to be alive But everything's different since Leo died I do what I can Is this the end of the modern world What could it mean for a young girl Who sees the pain on his face He does what he can The procession on the TV screen What could it possibly mean for a man Who's come this far just to turn around Could there still be life in Kenton's swing With the Kennedys gone and everything Those sad rows of houses with their optimistic colors Democrat grandparents and draft-dodging brothers Riots down the street and discontented mothers We do what we can Downstairs it's quiet Less alive somehow Somehow he was everything that I am now And he says I do what I can I work for a living And that's who I am And that's who I am But it's good to be alive And these are the choices We make to survive You do what you can

Nine To Five

JON LAJOIE "I Kill People"
What's a nine to five office job? That sounds exactly like what I want Young man, that is one party you may not be able to handle Nine to five, nine to five Monday to Friday live Nine to five, nine to five Cubicles and neon lights Nine to five, nine to five Stay till six, get overtime Nine to five, nine to five We motherfucking love our lives Wake up in the morning at six Breakfast with the wife and kids Pack yourself a lunch, a ham sandwich A juice box and carrot sticks Cafeteria food is expensive It may not fit into your budget Hop on the bus, public transit Or carpool for the environment Leave early in case there is traffic Bring a news paper or your favourite music John Mayer, Tim McGraw and Styx And Jon Bon Jovi's greatest hits Get to work at eight fifty five Five minutes early, so you have the time To pour yourself a coffee and say 'Hi' To your coworkers, "Good morning, guys!" Talk about the shows that were on last night Or a sports event, if you're a guy The boss walks in and says "Look at the time, everybody get to work, it is nine" Nine to five, nine to five Bathroom break at 11:05 Nine to five, nine to five Quality chairs that support the spine Nine to five, nine to five External calls, make sure to press nine Nine to five, nine to five We motherfucking love our lives Photo copiers, fax machines And casual Fridays, you get to wear jeans (Yay!) How crazy is that, wearing jeans to work On the tenth of every month wear Hawaiian shirts Hawaiian shirt day, Hawaiian shirt day Who said an office job wasn't a part-e Health insurance, paid sick days Bring baked goods to work on Tuesdays Jill's muffins are always a hit "What's the recipe Jill?" "They're from Costco..." "Still, good choice." "Yeah, good choice, they're nice and squishy." Staplers, keyboards, calculations Work-related conversations "Hey, did you get my work-related email?" "Yes, I got your work-related email." "Your Tron screensaver's really rad." "Thanks, I like your Star Wars mouse pad." "It was a gift from my dentist on my 30th birthday." Clock strikes five, it's the end of the work day Home by six, in bed by ten Wake up and do it all over again Nine to five, nine to five Why do I always feel like crying? Nine to five, nine to five This is not what I dreamt of as a child Nine to five, nine to five Everyday someone commits suicide Nine to five, nine to five We motherfucking hate our lives

Wham! Rap

WHAM! "Music From The Edge Of Heaven"
Hey everybody take a look at me, I've got street credibility, I may not have a job, But I have a good time, With the boys that I meet 'down on the line' I DON'T NEED YOU So you don't approve, Well, who asked you to HEY, JERK YOU WORK This guy's got better things to do HELL I ain't never gonna work, get down in the dirt I choose, to cruise Gonna live my life, sharp as a knife I've found my groove and I just can't lose I'm style from head to toe Cool cat flash gonna let you know I'm a soul boy - I'm a dole boy - Take pleasure in leisure, I believe in joy! [CHORUS:] WHAM! BAM! I AM! A MAN! JOB OR NO JOB YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT I'M NOT DO! YOU! ENJOY WHAT YOU DO IF NOT JUST STOP! DON'T STAY THERE AND ROT! Party nights, and neon lights We hit the floors, we hit the heights Dancing shoes, and pretty girls Boys in leather kiss girls in pearls! Hot - damn! Everybody, let's play! So they promised you a good job - NO WAY! One, two, three, rap! C'mon everybody, DON'T NEED THIS CRAP! [CHORUS] IF YOU'RE A PUB MAN OR A CLUB MAN MAYBE A JET BLACK GUY WITH A HIP HI-FI A WHITE COOL CAT WITH A TRILBY HAT MAYBE LEATHER AND STUDS IS WHERE YOU'RE AT MAKE THE MOST OF EVERY DAY DON'T LET HARD TIMES STAND IN YOUR WAY GIVE A WHAM GIVE A BAM BUT DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'COS THE BENEFIT GANG ARE GONNA PAY! Now reach up high and touch your soul The boys from Wham! will help you reach that goal It's gonna break your mama's heart (so sad) It's gonna break your daddy's heart (too bad) Just throw the dice and take my advice 'Cos I know that you're smart Can you dig this thing (YEAH!) Are you gonna get down (YEAH!) Say Wham! WHAM! Say Bam! BAM! [CHORUS x3] Do you wanna work Are you gonna have fun Do you wanna be a jerk Are you gonna stay young Everybody say WHAM! Say BAM! Everybody say WHAM! Say WHAM! BAM!

Am I A Psycho (Remix)

JOELL ORTIZ
I see you! I see you looking at me, looking at me So I ask: am I psycho? Am I psycho? yeah, I'm a psycho! I guess I'm a psycho! Is a cricket making noise outside of my window cell, I can't concentrate at my' While reading a book and cooking, some say this is add, I count every single step I take I like add. I just removed the breaks of my brand new atv, And switch the wheels with a bmx that I received in '83. I'm a' a political naked and say hey! I totally forgot what I would say, But it would be mean and they would just scream And throw the' and tried to chase me' I used to love the goose, but' It was actually a tragedy, man'. is crazy! When everybody's happy, that makes me mad and I get angry, Everybody said that I'm' I'm not a baby I just like to have my way and play and say these really good rhymes, And make you tumble up' [Chorus: x2] Am I a psycho? Am I a psycho? Yeah, I'm a psycho I guess I'm a psycho! Hey, why are you looking at me, hm? I ain't looking at you, hm? But I gotta be looking at you, to see that you're looking at me That's true! Forget what I just said, may name is ted, you wanna be cool? Maybe go shoot some pool, Maybe go swim in a pool, Maybe will hit the gym, you'll see how much weight I can pull. I make good', but I ain't so cool and' But maybe we won't be friends, I'll make your eyeball look azul. With a left, a right, I'm kicking the fight, let's fight and that it's cool! Last night I watched the ' that movie it was clear, Nobody walked across the screen, and I'm the only one the cheer! Scratching my nuts here, 'beer, hugging my bear, Dough, a deer, a female deer, rain upon him, run son! Protect your mom and sister, here they come! Bring it on you' how dare you test the' I'll drag your fury ass across the' [Chorus: x2] Am I a psycho? Am I a psycho? Yeah, I'm a psycho I guess I'm a psycho! Here's the line about how I reached my [?] when I rhyme, [?] ego is nine, I'm a fucking american psycho. Lucky number seven, six million' So seven, leaving skeletons [?]. this reveal post, [?] I killed him, propped them behind a wheel. When I ditched his last words, you need to see doctor' Cannibal, tragic, and more dramatic,' Defrost the [?] smack the shit out of you and refreeze it, Call it the first murder remix, kill him, revive him, I'll live him, [?] You should totally sting that police officer with a sling, 'inside my head and not the police, it sting Be wrapped around my finger when I'm working on the moon' [Chorus: x2] Am I a psycho? Am I a psycho? Yeah, I'm a psycho I guess I'm a psycho!

The New Workout Plan

KANYE WEST "College Dropout"
[Intro] You just popped in the Kanye West Get right for the summer workout tape And ladies if you follow these instructions exactly you might bear to pull you a rapper, a NBA player Man, at least a dude wit' a car So first of all we gon' work on the stomach Nobody wants a little tight ass! [Verse 1] 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get them sit ups right and Tuck your tummy tight and do your crunches like this Give head, stop breathe, get up, check your weave Don't drop the blunt and disrespect the weed Pick up your son and don't disrespect your seed It's a party tonight and ooh she's so excited Tell me who's invited: you, your friends and my dick What's scary to me is Henny makes girls look like Halle Berry to me So excuse me miss, I forgot your name Thank you, God bless you, good night I came.. I came... I came.. [Chorus] It's been a week without me and she feel weak without me She wanna talk it out but Ain't nothin' to talk about 'Lest, she talkin' about freakin' out then maybe we can work it out Work it out (Come on) [4x] Work it out now Maybe we can work it out (Come on, come on) [Verse 2] Oh girl your silhouette make me wanna light a cigarette My name Kanye from the Jigga set Twista said get it wet Ooh girl your breath is HARSH Cover your mouth up like you got SARS Off them tracks yea I bought them cars Still killa a nigga on 16 bars We ain't sweatin' to the oldies we jukin to a cold beat Maybe one day girl we can bone so you can brag to all your homies now But I still mess with a big girl if you ain't fit girl I'll hit girl 1 and you brought 2 friends OK 3 more now hop in the Benz Four door do you know the difference between a 5, 6, 7, 8 All the mocha lattes you gotta do Pilates You gotta pop this tape in before you start back dating Hustlers, gangstas, all us, ballas [Chorus] It's been a week without me and she feel weak without me She wanna talk it out but Ain't nothin' to talk about 'Lest, she talkin' about freakin' out then maybe we can work it out Work it out (Come on) [4x] Work it out now Maybe we can work it out (Come on, come on) [Interlude: Ladies speaking w/ Kanye in the background] [Jill] Hi may name is Jill, I just want to say thanks to Kanye's workout plan. I was able to pull a NBA player and like now I shop every day on Rodeo drive I just want to say, thank you Kanye! woooo! woooo! woooo! [Asandra] My name is Asandra, and I just want to say that ever since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape I was able to get my phone bill paid, I got sounds and 13's put up in my Cavalier and I was able to get a free trip to Cancun And what's most importantly is that I ain't gotta fuck Ray Ray's broke ass no mo' (Work it mo' juge it mo' pump it mo, Chi-town mo' let's go mo') [Alamae] My name is Alamae from Mobille, Alabama and I just want to say since listenin' to Kanye's workout tape I been able to date outside the family, I got a double wide And I rode the plane, rode the plane, rode the plane [Girl] Thanks to Kanye's workout plan I'm the envy of all my friends See I pulled me a baller man (yeah) And I don't gotta work at the mall again [Beat changes] (Lemme break ya wit' a piece of) My favorite work out plan (oh! oh! oh!) I wanna see you work out (yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah) (It's that old Michael Jackson shit) That's right put in work, move your ass, go bizzerk Get your salad, no dessert Get that man you deserve It's Kanye's workout plan I said it's Kanye's workout plan (Ladies and gentlemen) It's Kanye's workout plan (Allow myself to introduce myself) His woooorrrrkkoouut plan (This time around I want y'all to clap like this) That's right put in work Move your ass, go bizzerk Eat your salad, no dessert Get that man you deserve (Stop!) It's Kanye's workout plan (Ok bring) I said it's Kanye's workout plan (I know y'all ain't tired) It's Kanye's workout plan (But I hope not, 'cuz on this one I need ya) His woooorrrrkkoouut plan (to give me a soul clap ok double time) That's right put in work (Woo!) Move your ass, go bizzerk (Ow! Eat your salad, no dessert (Ugh!) Get that man you deserve That's right put in work (Put in work) Move your ass, go bizzerk (Go wizzerk) Eat your salad, no dessert (No dessert) Get that man you deserve (You hear, ugh) That's right put in work (That's right put in work) Move your ass, go bizzerk (Go wizzerk) Eat your salad, no dessert (Eat your salad, no dessert) Get that man you deserve (Woo!) (Okay, okay, okay, that's, that'd be good) [Applause and cheering] (I appreciate your time) I want to see you work out for me Woah yeah

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