"What The Hell Happened To Me?"
[Nikki's grandfather:] hey, everybody! Nikki had his first day of school today!
[everybody:] oh, yeah, good nikki that's great. Respect!
[NG:] how ya doin Nikki?
[Nikki:] well, okay grandpa
[everyone:] oh, good he's okay. showin the respect. Respect!
[NG:(lights cigarette)] hey, Nikki tell us about your first day of school
[N:] School good! We do fingerpainting,
[ev:] oh, yeah, you gotta respect the fingerpainting. Yeah, respect the fingerpaint. Respect the smearing.
[NG:] alright, tell us some more Nikki!
[N:] we make pla-do,
[ev:] oh, you gotta love the pla-do. Respect the pla-do. give full respect to the pla-do. You put it, you roll it around, you show it respect.
[NG:] alright, did you smell the pa-do?
[N:] pla-do smell good!
[ev:] oh, you gotta respect the smell
[Sammy:] it's squishy! It's squishy!
[old men:] of course it's squishy, he knows it's squishy, it's pla-do. What are you, a moron? Sammy, shut the fuck up! My god, he's an idiot!
[NG:] tell grandpa some more
[N:] we have cookies and milk too!
[ev.:] oh, you gotta respect the cookies and milk. [scattered laughter] I respect cookies! Who doesn't respect cookies?!
[NG:] did you dunk it in the milk?
[N:] I dunk the cookie
[ev:] oh, you gotta respect the dunking. yeah. Ya gotta dunk it. Dunking's good. Respect the milk!
[N:] I like soggy cookies!
[Sammy:] respect the milk!
[om:] why, you fuckin moron. You must be an idiot! I just fuckin said that! You idiot!
[NG:] what else, nikki?
[N:] teacher read us 3 little pigs!
[ev:] oh, yeah respect the pigs. respect the bricks. Big respect for the pigs. You respect the pigs, they'll respect you.
[S:] don't respect the wolf!
[om:] Sammy, jump in front of a fuckin truck! You shut the fuck up sammy! Every single word that comes out of your fuckin mouth is so disrespectful!
[NG:] what else, Nikki?
[N:] well, I play on the playground, and I swing on the monkey bars...
[ev.:] oh, you gotta respect those monkey bars, man. gotta love thos monkey bars. And show the respect.
[N:(throughout chatter)] A boy pushed me off the see-saw.
[NG:] Quiet! quiet, everybody! What did you say?
[N:] A boy pushed me off the see-saw.
[NG:] and what is this boy's name?
[N:] his name Donny McMillan
[ev: (Slams Fist)] he's fuckin dead! He's a fucking dead man, you hear me? I'll fuckin cut his balls off and feed 'em to his fuckin mother! The kid's dead! This little fuck is dead!
[NG:] What else, Nikki?
[N:] I kiss a girl on the playground
[ev:] oh, respect for the young lover. Show respect, show respect.
[Sammy:] gotta respect the condom!
[om:] you fuckin moron, what are you talking about a condom you fuckin idiot? he's five fuckin years old! (I'm just sayin!) you fuckin idiot! I'll fuckin put a fuckin condom on your fuckin tombstone! Sammy, you're a moron!
[NG:] tell grandpa some more, Nikki
[N:] We sing the alphabet song!
[ev.:] Oh, you gotta respect the alphabet song. It's a good song! It's a good song, it helps you remember! You gotta respect it! Yeah, you gotta respect it!
[NG:] okay, let's hear you sing the song!
[om:] sammy, shutup!
[Starts singing very off-tone]
[om:] oh, respect!
[Sammy:] oh, you gotta respect the song!
[om:] sammy, shut the fuck up! He's fuckin trying to sing a fuckin song here, you moron! show a little respect!
[om:] oh, you gotta show respect.
[om:] respect, respect, respect, respect! Oh, they always go together
[om:] oh, you gotta show the respect
[om:] oh, respect the v. good letter.
[om:] oh, respect the completion. You gotta show respect for the kid, he's a smart one!
[N:] now I know my abc's-
[ev.:] alright, we know the song. Alright, it's getting a little long. Let's move on.
[NG:] you do good in the spelling bee?
[N:] I can spell, grandpa!
[ev:] ah, respect the confidence! The kid can spell! Just like his grandfather his grandfather can spell!
[NG:] Okay, I'm gonna spell you something right now, and you tell me what I'm spellin okay?
[N:] okay grandpa
[NG:] okay, nikki?
[N:] okay, granpa
[NG:] you ready for this?
[N:] okay, granpa
[NG:] are you ready for this?
[N:] alright, grandpa!
[NG:] Alright, here we go!
[Old man:] R!
[om:] what the fuck, s? Sammy what's fuckin wrong with you?!! You fuckin idiot! Where'd you learn to fuckin spell?!...
[NG:] alright my little angel, we're gonna spell the word for you again, and you're gonna tell grandpa what we're spellin, alright? Here we go,
[NG:] and Sammy, you're gonna keep your fuckin trap shut!
[S:] consider it done!
[ev:] respect! He got it, the kid's got it! He's one of us! He's got it!