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Cledus T. Judd lyrics - I Stoled This Record

The Grundy County Spitting Incident

Original and similar lyrics
Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get me a can of Skoal. Well, we went down to the Grundy County auction The sign said no tobaccer where we sat My wife told me that I should spit with caution Or else we'll all wind up in a big ol' spat And I said hush your mouth nobody's gonna mind If I pack my lip and ignore the sign 'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all Then, I've never seen anyone get so mad From a little bit of spit on his John Deere hat But I spit on him once, spit on him twice Spit Skoal on the feller in the second row Well he turned around and nearly broke my nose I got a big fat lip, two black eyes Shoulda just went and dipped outside Well, it musta been about eight or nine more minutes Until I pulled that can of Skoal back out And I knew when I put my fingers in it That I'd just spit it out amongst the crowd ...Look out! And you know I really don't care if anybody minds A pinch 'tween your cheek and gum is not a crime So I'll do my spittin' and to heck with the rest of y'all Well I've never saw people gettin' so dang mad Worst County auction they've ever had 'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess I even got a little on a lady's white dress But in the end they got me back you see They all took a dip and spit on me Well, they pinned me down on the auction block And took my Skoal away And the town still hates to talk about The mess that was made that day When I said hush your mouth, nobody's gonna mind If I pack my lip and ignore the sign 'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all Well, I've never saw people gettin' so derned mad The worst County auction they've ever had 'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess I even got a little on a lady's white dress Shoulda swallowed my dip, swallowed my pride Shoulda just went and spit outsiiiiiiide. Whew! Boy, that was horrible! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well I went down to a Music City function Where I just heard a song that I had to howl out My lawyers told my to proceed with caution Or I'd make a whole lot of songwriters mad Uh-huh And I said Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind If I take a song and make it mine all mine Like I did so many times with old Tim McGraw's Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines Well I stole it once stole it twice I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row Well he just moved to town and he didn't know About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI So he might as well kiss his song goodbye I had my number two pencil going about a mile a minute Till I had his ideas all written down And I knew I really went and did it When the police came and hauled my butt downtown And I said Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind If I steal a song and make it mine all mine Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw's Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines Well I stole it once stole it twice I STOLE that song and I must confess When I went to court I plead no contest Got a big fat lip and two black eyes Never should have messed with his copyright Yeah I told the judge I had writers block but he hauled my butt away And now it hurts too much to laugh about the song I stole that day When I said Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind If I steal a song and make it mine all mine Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines So I stole it once stole it twice I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row Well he just moved to town and he didn't know About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI So he might as well kiss his song goodbye (GASP) EYE STOLE WHEE!!!!

Never Been Down

BEENIE MAN "Best Of Beenie Man"
Verse 1: Aah sid-dung and plan and mi dig mi foundation D.J. wha dig up mi excurvation So mi sid-dung and mi rock about I have to wonder what some D.J. thinking about Well, go ahead and mek yu own preparation If yu feel sey yu can dis badman, not physical But lyrical yu go dis Beenie Man And mek mi fans det mad But don't matter which form a D.J. If yu rascine yu dead anyways And don't think for a minute, you are on my mind Black wizard don't care what yu talk about As long as yu know sey a mi run di route Yu dis Beenie Man and mi fans ago carry yu out, old scout Chorus: I've never been down, well done I've never been out, swell down And I've never hit rock bottom So yu stay deh gwaan talk off yu mouth God knows I'm moving strong, sing along So I've never hit rock bottom so yu fi Hear weh Shocking Vibes a talk bout Verse 2: Aah sid-dung and relax, and mi tek things wid ease Dem never know sey Indian a Black a cross breed Mi affi wonder what some guy believe Yu deserve all a strapping little mout a massy speak Fool, yu si mi face, mi look simple yu no mi Yu neva know a Indian scamie grow mi But through mi defend di apache I Some idiot hear man argument a clss man as guy But don't matter which form a any D.J. If yu dis rascine yu dead anyways And don't think for a minute, you are on my mind Aquaman don't care what yu talk about As long as yu know sey a mi run di route Yu dis Beenie Man and mi fans dem a go carry yu out Old scout Chorus Verse 3: Aah mi preach and warn, and tell dem mi tell Dem mi a veteran Some little fool want come dis foundation But yu nu respect all yu mom and dad Through yu get up everyday and yu a preach how yu bad But duppy done know a who dem fi frighteh But if yu ever mek mi draw fi mi bible Well two psalms mi a go read fi yu Well mi nu stop lick out bad mind from certion people But don't matter which form a any D.J. If yu dis Alley Cat yu dead anyways And don't think for a minute you're on my mind Shocking Vibes don't care what yu talk about As long as yu know sey a mi run di route Yu dis Beenie Man and mi fans ago carry yu out Old scout Chorus 2x Repeat Verse 1

Foot Of Pride

BOB DYLAN "Bootleg Series, Vols. 1-3: Rare Unreleased, 1961-1991"
Like the lion tears the flesh off of a man So can a woman who passes herself off as a male They sang 'Danny Boy' at his funeral and the Lord's Prayer Preacher talking 'bout Christ betrayed It's like the earth just opened and swallowed him up He reached too high, was thrown back to the ground You know what they say about bein' nice to the right people on the way up Sooner or later you gonna meet them comin' down Well, there ain't no goin' back when your foot of pride come down Ain't no goin' back Hear ya got a brother named James, don't forget faces or names Sunken cheeks and his blood is mixed He looked straight into the sun and said revenge is mine But he drinks, and drinks can be fixed Sing me one more song, about ya love me to the moon and the stranger And your fall by the sword love affair with Erroll Flynn in these times of compassion when conformity's in fashion Say one more stupid thing to me before the final nail is driven in. Well, there ain't no goin' back when your foot of pride come down Ain't no goin' back There's a retired businessman named Red, cast down from heaven and he's out of his head He feeds off of everyone that he can touch He said he only deals in cash or sells tickets to a plane crash He's not somebody that you play around with much Miss Delilah is his, a Philistine is what she is She'll do wondrous works with your fate Feed you coconut bread, spice buns in your bed If you don't mind sleepin' with your head face down in a grave. Well, there ain't no goin' back when your foot of pride come down Ain't no goin' back Well they'll choose a man for you to meet tonight You'll play the fool and learn how to walk through doors How to enter into the gates of paradise No, how to carry a burden too heavy to be yours Yeah, from the stage they'll be tryin' to get water outta rocks A whore will pass the hat, collect a hundred grand and say thanks They like to take all this money from sin, build big universities to study in Sing 'Amazing Grace' all the way to the Swiss banks Well, there ain't no goin' back when your foot of pride come down Ain't no goin' back They got some beautiful people out there, man They can be a terror to your mind and show you how to hold your tongue They got mystery written all over their forehead They kill babies in the crib and say only the good die young They don't believe in mercy Judgment on them is something that you'll never see They can exalt you up or bring you down main route Turn you into anything that they want you to be Well, there ain't no goin' back when your foot of pride come down Ain't no goin' back Yes, I guess I loved him too I can still see him in my mind climbin' that hill Did he make it to the top, well he probably did and dropped Struck down by the strength of the will Ain't nothin' left here partner, just the dust of a plague that has left this whole town afraid From now on, this'll be where you're from Let the dead bury the dead. Your time will come Let hot iron blow as he raised the shade Well, there ain't no goin' back when your foot of pride come down Ain't no goin' back

Stabbing The Drama

SOILWORK
My Declaration Hurts... Just Wanna Stab it Right Now Congratulations You Found Yourself Been Preaching Too Many Times To An Hysterical Mind So Won't You Fucking Behave Yourself It's All In There...Without Despair So You Saved Your Soul? It Always Depend Who Will Deliver Have You Ever Known... Such a Beautiful Mind That Gives You Shelter I'm Waiting For Something To Show, I Might as Well... Just Drag Me Down So Low I'm Down The Drain And I've Got Nothing to Fear With A Polluted Mind I Had My Share Of Loosing Don't You Ever Criss That Line So You Saved Your Soul? It Always Depend Who Will Deliver Have You Ever Known... Such a Beautiful Mind That Gives You Shelter Break The Record, In A Second Cherish Your Mental Weapons Watch The Progress From An Aspect That's Stabbing The Drama Inside... I'm Waiting For Something To Show I Might As Well... Just Drag Me Down So Low I'm Aiming For Something To Show My Punishment... For Being Down So Low I Can't Believe How It Used To Be, Selfish Minds Were Abusing Me Self Pity And Determined To Crawl Manipulation of A Merciful Soul I'm Waiting For Something To Show I Might As Well... Just Drag Me Down So Low I'm Aiming For Something To Show My Punishment... For Being Down So Low

Song From The Bottom Of A Well

Kevin Ayers "Whatevershebringswesing"
This is a song from the bottom of a well There are things down here I've got to try and tell; It's dark and light at the very same time, The water sometimes seems like wine. I learned some information way down here That might fill your heart and soul with fear; But don't you worry, no don't be afraid ... I'm not in the magical mystery trade. My imagination begins to purr As things don't happen, they just occur. Softly crackling electrical smell, There's something burning at the bottom of this well. Sitting here alone I just have to laugh I see all the universe as a comfortable bath; I drown my body so my mind is free To indulge in pleasurable fantasies. There's something strange going on down here .. A sickening implosion of mistrust and fear. A vast corruption that's about to boil A mixture of greed and the smell of oil. This is a song from the bottom of a well I didn't move here, I just fell. But I'm not complaining, I don't even care 'Cause if I'm not here, then it's not there.

Back Of My Mind

JOHN HIATT "Stolen Moments"
Well my daddy he stood at the foot of the stairs He was calling to me at the time And I knew even then, I could die for the thoughts That I kept in the back of my mind But I dared not to speak How I felt for my dad Cause there were no words to define The ball of confusion, of feelings and stuff That I kept in the back of my mind So I took to the highway And I kept to myself Just a lookin' and hopin' to find Some solutions, some answers, someway to exist All this stuff in the back of my mind So I took me a job And I took me a wife And I took me a bottle of wine And it did not take long, 'til all I had left Was this junk in the back of my mind Well the end of the tunnel It never came up 'til I came to the end of the line And I saw that the light I'd been hoping to see Was just a spark in the back of my mind And the cold wind that blew Through the hole in my heart Made a fire for the very first time From some branches of trust And a kindling of faith And that spark in the back of my mind Drivin' like rain, or a runaway train Flyin' blind, shot from the dark in the back of my mind

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