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Cledus T. Judd lyrics - I Stoled This Record

Grandpa Got Runned Over By A John Deere (Bonus Track)

Original and similar lyrics
CHORUS Grandpa got runned over by a John Deere Walking home from the Moose Lodge Christmas Eve. Now you can say there's no such thing as Santa, But after suing John Deere, I believe... He'd been a-guzzlin' old Jack Daniels And smokin' that wacky weed- He mixed it with his medication And run off with some bleach-blonde named Bernice. When we found him Christmas mornin' We thought he had a heart attack. But he had tar prints on his forehead And incriminatin' hickies on his neck. (ON HIS WHAT???) CHORUS But we're all ashamed of Grandpa. He took Grandma's death too well. Started watchin' porno movies And engaging in phone sex with Cousin Belle. It's a better Christmas without Grandpa Last year in church, he mooned the choir. At first, we thought it was Alzheimer's, But looking back, we realized he was wired. CHORUS Yeah, I filed myself a lawsuit And they awarded me two mil. You know Grandpa didn't leave me nuthin', But thanks to that old John Deere, he got killed. Funny, all my friends and neigh-bras Turned up on the grand jury, (laughs) I bribed 'em like Johnny Cochran Did when they set O.J. Simpson free. GUIL-TY!!! CHORUS (x2)

The Angel Song

JACI VELASQUEZ "Christmas"
In the chill of the night While the moon gently sleeps I wander in silence on snow-laden streets As I gaze into sunsets over silhouette mountains I am amazed that the God who made all this, made me As my eyes were open I began to believe The mystery of Christmas was truly revealed A great host of angels came calling to me Taking me back to the pure sacred peace Chorus Singing la, la, lalala, lalalala, lalalalalala There's a savior born to us today Singing la, la, lalala, lalalala, lalalalalala The Messiah, Christ the Lord In the light of the angels surrounding my soul I know for certain I'm never alone Now let all of your children feel the love that you gave And in honor of you give it away Chorus *From the album CHRISTMAS*

John Wayne And Jesus

PAT GREEN
I met John Wayne and Jesus when I was just a kid They both had on their cowboy hats just like I'd pictured them I stood up at the front of the class waving my American flag I said the pledge, sang amber waves of grain Chorus And(But) I sing all the songs of America Danced in the rain in Lafayette I'm still hanging out with John Wayne and Jesus And I know this is good as life can get Well, I had big time when I was down in Houston Well, I fell in love and moved out to New Orleans Well, she said so long, now I'm here all alone She's still got a little bitty piece of me Chorus Well John Wayne and Jesus moved out to Hollywood Workin' behind the scenes on MTV Me I'm standing right down here in Texas And I know that's where I was always meant to be Chorus

Christmas In Dixie

ALABAMA "Alabama Christmas"
By now in New York City, there's snow on the ground And out in California, the sunshine's falling down And, maybe down in Memphis, Graceland's all in lights And in Atlanta, Geoirgia, there's peace on earth tonight Chorus: Chirstmas in Dixie, it's snowin' in the pines Merry Christma from Dixie, to everyone tonight It's windy in Chicago. The kids are out of school There's magic in Motown. The city's on the move In Jackson, Mississippi, to Charlotte, Caroline And all across the nation, it's the peaceful Christmas time Chorus And from Fort Payne, Alabama God bless y'all...We love ya...Happy New Year...Good night Merry Christmas...Merry Christmas tonight

John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16

KEITH URBAN
I'm a 45 spinning on an old Victrola I'm a two strike swinger, I'm a Pepsi Cola I'm a blue jean quarterback saying "I love you" to the prom queen In a Chevy I'm John Wayne, Superman, California I'm a Kris Kristofferson Sunday morning I'm a mom and daddy singing along to Don McLean At the levee And I'm a child of a backseat freedom, baptized by rock and roll Marilyn Monroe and the Garden of Eden, never grow up, never grow old Just another rebel in the great wide open on the boulevard of broken dreams And I learned everything I needed to know from John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 Hey, hey Everything I needed That's right I'm Mark Twain on the Mississippi I'm Hemingway with a shot of whiskey I'm a TV dinner on a tray trying to figure out the Wheel of Fortune I'm a Texaco star, I'm a Gibson guitar I'm still a teenage kid trying to go too far I'm a jukebox waiting in a neon bar for a quarter And I'm a child of a backseat freedom, baptized by rock and roll Marilyn Monroe and the Garden of Eden, never grow up, never grow old Just another rebel in the great wide open on the boulevard of broken dreams And I learned everything I needed to know from John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 I spent a lot of years running from believing, looking for another way to save my soul The longer I live, the more I see it: there's only one way home And I'm a child of a backseat freedom, baptized by rock and roll Marilyn Monroe and the Garden of Eden, never grow up, never grow old Just another rebel in the great wide open on the boulevard of broken dreams And I learned everything I needed to know from John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 And I'm a child of a backseat freedom, baptized by rock and roll Marilyn Monroe and the Garden of Eden, never grow up, never grow old Just another rebel in the great wide open on the boulevard of broken dreams And I learned everything I needed to know from John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 (John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16) Everything I needed (John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16) Everything I needed (John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16) That's right

Cold December Nights

BOYZ II MEN "Christmas Interpretations"
Cold december nights like this make me really scared You're not really there And my tree is really bare Another lonely night No gifts, no toys underneath my tree Can this really be I'm singing Christmas Carols And there's no Christmas for me Chorus: Why aren't you next to me Celebrating Christmas Why can't you see what hurts so bad How can you go without paying mind to my sorrow You can't imagine How I feel on this cold December night The stars shine bright as the night air And the thought of you not being here Makes me shed a tear And yet matters remain unclear About why you're gone Or if you'll ever return to this broken heart Life is so torn apart And God knows, Lord knows where I need to start re-building Chorus (repeats a lot and fades out)

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