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ADAM SANDLER lyrics - What The Hell Happened To Me?

Sex Or Weight Lifting

Original and similar lyrics
[Adam Sandler]: Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. I went around the country with my tape recorder and I taped different people having sex. I would just sit outside their bedroom windows without anybody knowin' and I would press record and these people would wail away on each other man they would really go at it and I captured it on tape. Also I went around the country and I taped people in weight rooms workin' out man. I would just sit there with my tape recorder, press record, and these people would have themselves a workout man and I got that on tape. Now I'm gonna play these tapes for people on the street and see if they know the difference between people working out and people havin' sex. Sir, what's your name? [Man]: Hi, how ya doin'? My name's Gregory Miner. [Adam Sandler]: Oh terrific. My name's Barry Lakin. [Man]: Uh huh [Adam Sandler]: And let me tell you what I did man. I went around the country and taped people having sex [Man]: Uh huh [Adam Sandler]: I also taped people workin' out in a weight room man. I'm gonna play one of the two tapes for you right now [Man]: Ok [Adam Sandler]: You dig? You tell me which of the two they're doin' okay? Workin' out or havin' sex? [Man]: Yeah I got ya [Adam Sandler]: Alright I'm pressing the play button...Now. {Moans and screams} [Adam Sandler]: What do you think? [Man]: Well that's people having sex. [Adam Sandler]: No they were doing a Military Press [Man]: But..but they... [Adam Sandler]: No you're wrong. Thank you very much for stopping by. Amazing what people will hear. When the human ear wants to hear sex, it hears sex. Hmm. Let's move on to someone else. Sir, what's your name? [Man]: Uh hi my name is Ron. [Adam Sandler]: Ron, what's your last name, quick. [Man]: Ron Johnson. [Adam Sandler]: Alright, that's good enough. My name's Barry Lakin. [Man]: Nice to meet you Barry. [Adam Sandler]: Terrific. What I'm gonna do now is play a tape for you. And you tell me if these people are havin' sex.. [Man]: Yeah? [Adam Sandler]: See how he says yeah? Or working out in a fitness center. [Man]: Uh huh [Adam Sandler]: I'm pressing play...Now. {Moans and screams} [Adam Sandler]: And what do you think? [Man]: Uh, that was two gay men having sex. [Adam Sandler]: No those were two men doing Butterfly Curls. [Man]: Sounded like two gay guys having sex. [Adam Sandler]: Well no sir, you are dead wrong. [Man]: Alright. [Adam Sandler]: Thanks for stopping by. Wow, interesting. Two men, on tape, working out, building their pectorial muscles. And this man hears gay sex. Which leads me to the conclusion that this man is either gay himself or not straight. Moving along. And older gentleman. How are ya sir, what's your name? [Man]: Uh Larry Bartowski [Adam Sandler]: And Larry, how old are you? [Man]: I am 62. [Adam Sandler]: My name's Barry Lakin. [Man]: Nice to meet you Barry. [Adam Sandler]: Terrific. Larry, I'm gonna play a tape for ya. Now you have to tell me if these two people are having sex or working out. Are you ready sir? [Man]: I think I'll be able to do this. [Adam Sandler]: Alright sir. Here we go. And play. {Moans and screams} [Adam Sandler]: Okay sir. What was that? Sex or weight lifting? [Man]: That was definitely two people having sex. [Adam Sandler]: No they were doing Leg Squats. [Man]: You're kidding me? They were not having sex? [Adam Sandler]: No sir, you are way off base. [Man]: I don't believe it. [Adam Sandler]: Alright I'll play it back for you again sir. And if you get it right this time, you will...be the only one who did. Okay so...play. {Moans and screams} [Adam Sandler]: Okay, here's your second chance. What do you think? [Man]: Those people were definitely having sex. [Adam Sandler]: No wrong again, sir. Thanks for playing the game. [Man]: You're kidding me. They, they... [Adam Sandler]: Alright sir, I'm moving on, I appreciate it. [Man]: They were having sex. [Adam Sandler]: Alright that's in your head. Bye bye. Well we learned a lot about men today. Let's move on to women. How are you? [Woman]: Okay. [Adam Sandler]: My name's Barry Lakin. [Woman]: Hi. [Adam Sandler]: Hi. What's your name? [Women]: Uh Jessica Sanders. [Adam Sandler]: Okay Jessica. What I'm gonna do right now is record something, not play, but record. [Woman]: Oh okay. [Adam Sandler]: I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes now. And I'm gonna record something. Then I'm gonna play it back to you. And you're gonna have to tell me if these to people are having sex or working out in a gym. [Woman]: Okay. [Adam Sandler]: Okay, close your eyes. I'm hitting record now. Pay no attention to what's going on. [Woman]: You're unzipping my pants. [Adam Sandler]: Yeah that's right. Keep your eyes closed I'm recording something. [Woman]: Oh that feels good. [Adam Sandler]: Mm-hmm, yeah it feels good here too. Alright. Okay, I'm gonna slow down or I'm in trouble. Ahh too late I'm gonna blow it here we go [Woman]: You got shit all over me. [Adam Sandler]: Alright. Okay let me hit stop. And let me rewind that one. Alright now I'm gonna play it back for you. Are these people having sex or are they in a weight room. Here we go. {Playback} [Adam Sandler]: Now what do you think? [Woman]: That was you having sex with me. [Adam Sandler]: That's right and thanks for stoppin' by. Okay. Well, until next time this is Barry Lakin sayin all the world is schlach.

Piece Of Mind

JOEY BADA$$ "B4.Da.$$"
[Intro Skit:] Hello? Yeah I hear you bro, I hear you You got a minute? Yeah I got a quick sec Alright I want you to hear somethin', I'm play somethin' for you alright? Alright, alright Yo yo you hear it bro? Yeah [Intro:] Yeah Alright listen, listen Let me tell you what shit is like right now y'all [Verse 1:] What life like now, tryna figure out They put this mic on trial cause he be killin' now Forever bitin' my forbidden style Laying low for a minute in the game Since I came all these niggas lookin' timid My life can never dimeth, the Lord is my sheppard Jesus woke a devil in him, the sinnin' with least effort Thinking back to those lefferts days And I ain't been the same since I left 6th grade My mind's strayin', you think I had the biggest heart Taking walks with abuela in the park just to tell her I'ma grow propellers one day and be a good fella Play the hero or whoever, the hood gon' tell us Let's just pray it ain't the villain Tell 'em I be feeling some way Thinkin' I can get the Maybach off gun play Instead I let the words play with 90 beats a minute Bet the streets lose a heart beat before the verse finish But life goes on, basic rules still apply And you can feel that lot in any hood that you live by From Flatbush, to Figg side, I was a school boy too Hoppin' trains, I just missed my cue [Hook x2:] And what's life like for me, it's but a dream Everything ain't what it seems, up underneath The surface is but a screen, we only see What we know [Verse 2:] And what's life like now, I can't figure out They put my mans on trial, say he a killer now Conspiracies, we gon' get you out Just keep ya head up G, shit is wild It's bugged out cause I know you tryna see your child But I'ma hold you down still cause you my brother I just gave Will a lil' somethin' for your baby mother But don't stress, know you caught up in the b.s But next time you see us, we gonna be our best Love you my nigga, word is bond, you'll stay strong Out in New York this same shit is goin' on Peace to all my brothers who keep still holdin' on Been away so long, feel like a tickin' time bomb They make judgement to my kind, who the odds is against Put our backs on the fence, so we self defence Followed by a series of unfortunate events Looking like white America got a brother again [Hook x2] [Outro:] Take shots to the face with no peace of mind Give me my piece of mind Take shots to the face with no peace of mind Give me my piece of mind This life is all we know, this life is all we know [Outro skit:] Man that's crazy yo, that's amazing b Thank you bro Word bro That one is for you my nigga Good lookin' bro, good lookin' man. That just boosted my adrenaline. It's been ages, I gotta get out this joint b. I love y'all man, real bro, for real man. I think by every day that go by, I just be thinkin' bout y'all for real. You, Kirk, everybody. I heard the new one on Rosenberg, that shit is a bomb one b Oh you heard that shit!

Basketball

Bow Wow Wow
[Chorus] They're playing basketball We love that basketball Now basketball is my favorite sport I like the way they dribble up and down the court I keep it so fresh on the microphone I like no interruption when the game is on I like slam-dunks that take me to the hoop My favorite play is the alley-oop I like the pick-n-roll I like the give-n-go And its basketball Bow Wow lets go [Chorus] I got the rock in my hands There ain't no tellin what i'm gonna do wit it When i got possession i'm gonna have to fool wit it I might cross you up and fake one way Turn around and hit you wit the MJ fade-away I throwin down passes like J-Kidd Taking cats to the rack And I'm dunkin over them like T-Mac When I'm in the paint I play wit that Alonzo style I'm like Darius cuz I can shoot 2 miles Don't too many players get offers like me I'm back-n-forth likely Shake the checks off your nikes They almost had me in a suit at the draft Cuz it look like a freethrow When I be shootin from half The first step like Iverson, blow pass you He'll leave nuthin but net, but i can go blast too When I'm in the paint the defense so shook They don't know if I'm gonna put up a slow hook or dish up a no-look See my game consist of whole lotta..... Moves you would think I learned from the Harlem Globe Trotters JD gonna lead us to a ring Fab and Bow Wow is the only players that makes the cheerleaders wanna sing [Chorus] Now tell me were you in the joint The night MJ scored 63 points When the Lakers won titles back-to-back Didn't give nobody no kind of slack When Vince Carter came Stuck his arm in the rim Everbody went crazy in the whole dang gym Dikembe Mutumbo standing tall Playing D wit desire Its Basketball [Chorus]

Do Or Die

Kid Capri "Soundtrack to the Streets"
(Play) It's the P-l-a-y, just here to say hi Askin you may I, tell you 'bout the day I Picked up a microphone, a pad and a pen The legend of the Tramp begins The party host with the most giving you a dose, see Needing instructions, so listen closely Two lines form, and make sure you step soon Fellas at the backdoor, girls by the bedroom The name is Play, don't dare play me cheap The microphone is a broom and I'ma sweep ya Off your feet with feelings that you never felt Another notch in the belt It's no secret, I like to freak with the best of them Then head to the stage in a test of men And when it's done and said and said and done Play's gonna be the victorious one (Play) Yeah Dope, ain't it? Ha-ha, I know (Kid) Man, gimme that mic! (Play) Oh, you want some of this? (Kid) Yo, it's my turn (Play) Yeah, go for yours (Kid) Anything you can do, I can do better I can do anything better than you (Play) No you can't (Kid) Yes I can (Play) No you can't (Kid) Yes I can (Play) No you can't (Kid) Yes I can Yes I can (Kid) I'm never fessin, possessin the tools that it takes to rock I think it's time for the new kid on the block With a style that's wild yet so unique I can't be stopped from reachin my peak Because givin my all and all, that's how I gotta live It's my prerogative, so you know I gotta give More for the dancefloor and I'ma give brain sore Kids revin and buzzin just like a chainsaw I make em say: Damn man, that Kid, he's a grand man Cause I bust a handstand on American Bandstand With these I please with ease and make your mind freeze Straight out the 80s right into the 90s Givin you the highs and lows like a drama And if the mic's got juice you know I'ma Keep whalin, you know I have you starin a while Because the Kid's much more than hair and a smile (Kid) Ha-ha There it is, the hype shit (Play) Oh, I see Think you all that now? (Kid) Yup And then some (Play) Alright, bust it (Play) Anything you can do, I can do better I can do anything better than you (Kid) No you can't (Play) Yes I can (Kid) No you can't (Play) Yes I can (Kid) No you can't (Play) Yes I can Yes I can, boy (Play) It's my party and I rhyme if I want to Be careful and don't you step to the front to Diss, cause I'ma dismiss with a death kiss And make you sorry that you ever stepped to this Microphone wizard, so come on, place your bet Is it gonna be me or Eraserhead? Why put your money on a sorry old poor thing When you can get behind a sure thing And that's me, the capital P on the hype tip One false move and you'll get your ass whipped Just tell me how the rhymes and the cuts sound You won't start feelin the pain till you touch ground Boy, you're goin way out, I'm ready to serve you If you can stay out pass your pop's curfew Look at him, already a has-been Let Uncle Play say a rhyme that'll tuck your ass in (Play) Huh Am I paid or what? (Kid) Man, you livin some kind of foul (Play) Crazy (Kid) Alright, two can play at this game (Kid) Anything you can do, I can do better I can do anything better than you (Play) No you can't (Kid) Yes I can (Play) No you can't (Kid) Yes I can (Play) No you can't (Kid) Yes I can Once again.. (Kid) The boy's blowin smoke 'bout what he wanna be But it isn't and wasn't and it ain't never gonna be Possible, cause I got lots of pull And when you rhyme - ooh, there's lots of bull When it comes time to step to a mic I don't sit around Play, you know I don't Kid around So come with it, boy, don't even hide your best Cause 'Kid' spelled backwards describes you best Look around, watch the people clap hands in unity As the momentum swings from you to me You issued a challenge, yeah, you do it up Step to the stage - too late, I blew it up The knowledge to build, just filled with excellence You heard the rhyme, you been petro ever since There's no missin the words that I laid out You didn't Play, you just got Played out

Greasy Heart

JEFFERSON AIRPLANE "Crown of Creation"
Lady, you keep asking why he likes you how come Wonder why he wants more if he just had some Boys, she's got more to play with in the way of toys Ladies eyes go off and on with a finger full of glue Lips are drawn upon her face in come-to-me tattoo Creamy suntan color that fades when she bathes Paper dresses catch on fire you lose her in the haze Don't ever change lady, he likes you that way because He just had his hair done and he wants to use your wig He's going off the drug thing cause his veins are getting big He wants to sell his paintings but the market is slow They're only paying him two grams now for a one-man abstract show Don't ever change people even if you can You are your own best toy to play with remote control hands Made for each other made in Japan Woman with a greasy heart automatic man Don't ever change people your face will hit the fan Don't ever change people even if you can Don't change before the empire falls You'll laugh so hard you'll crack the walls

Basketball

LIL' BOW WOW "Doggy Bag"
[Chorus] They're playing basketball We love that basketball Now basketball is my favorite sport I like the way they dribble up and down the court I keep it so fresh on the microphone I like no interruption when the game is on I like slam-dunks that take me to the hoop My favorite play is the alley-oop I like the pick-n-roll I like the give-n-go And its basketball Bow Wow lets go [Chorus] I got the rock in my hands There ain't no tellin what i'm gonna do wit it When i got possession i'm gonna have to fool wit it I might cross you up and fake one way Turn around and hit you wit the MJ fade-away I throwin down passes like J-Kidd Taking cats to the rack And I'm dunkin over them like T-Mac When I'm in the paint I play wit that Alonzo style I'm like Darius cuz I can shoot 2 miles Don't too many players get offers like me I'm back-n-forth likely Shake the checks off your nikes They almost had me in a suit at the draft Cuz it look like a freethrow When I be shootin from half The first step like Iverson, blow pass you He'll leave nuthin but net, but i can go blast too When I'm in the paint the defense so shook They don't know if I'm gonna put up a slow hook or dish up a no-look See my game consist of whole lotta..... Moves you would think I learned from the Harlem Globe Trotters JD gonna lead us to a ring Fab and Bow Wow is the only players that makes the cheerleaders wanna sing [Chorus] Now tell me were you in the joint The night MJ scored 63 points When the Lakers won titles back-to-back Didn't give nobody no kind of slack When Vince Carter came Stuck his arm in the rim Everbody went crazy in the whole gym Dikembe Mutumbo standing tall Playing D wit desire Its Basketball [Chorus]

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